Friends and countrymen, lend me your ears! I come today to call attention to the grave injustice that has poisoned the prosperity and happiness of our great land. Malicious as it is pervasive, our society as we know it has been wholly afflicted with this disease. The symptom of this disease is conflict. The terms of this conflict are exploitation and expropriation of the helpless. The fruits of this avarice have born economic, social, and cultural consequences. But this struggle is not of individuals; it is a conflict of the classes. No one man is imbued in this fight, but all those who identify with him. The factions of this conflict are known to all: the businessman and the worker. Their conflict, which begun at the dawn of modern capitalism, has seen no truce and continues on to this day. It is this injustice, the story of theft and , which I bring to you today.
I say to you, dear listener, that far too long as the businessman suffered under the exploitation of the worker! Far too long has the entrepreneur endured the malice of those he employs! The crimes of the worker against the businessman are numerous and grievous, and alas, I can only list but a few. It is known to all that the businessman, in order to conduct his affairs and earn his modest income, must employ workers for the operation of his firm. He is reliant upon them, and he must approach them for their labor services. The workers are perfectly aware of the businessman’s need, and they conspire against him to force the businessman into paying them higher and higher wages! The result is that the worker, taking brazen advantage of the entrepreneur’s need, earns a wage that none would consider fair compensation for his efforts. Thus, they consume his meager profits and leave him without his hard-earned income. Indeed, they would hardly be less reproachable if the workers stole the food right off of his plate!
As a result of the unjustly high wages the workers extract from the entrepreneur, the operation of his business becomes less and less feasible. In many such cases, the likely outcome is that he will be forced into bankruptcy and his business will fail. Even though the worker is clearly at fault, he suffers no consequence for his disastrous rapacity! Granted, the worker will lose his job, but he still possesses all of the skills that granted him his job in the first place. Doubtless he will quickly find gainful employment somewhere else. The poor businessman, however, loses all of the capital that he had poured into his enterprise. Moreover, he has no skills that he can take elsewhere to be employed; all he has is his firm and the blood, sweat, and tears that he put into it. Surely, he is ruined by the loss of his business, but the worker, the culprit and cause of his loss, continues on without a care in the world.
Even through all that the worker subjects the pitiful businessman to, he gives him no gratitude whatsoever. The worker takes his weekends off, enjoys countless holidays throughout the year, and even goes on vacations for his own pleasure. The work of the entrepreneur, however, is never done. He has no time for leisure or entertainment. He is constantly engaged in the management, production, buying, selling, and development of his firm. Moreover, he is surrounded by competitors who are unceasing in their attempts to outdo him and lure away his customers. If he does not remain vigilant, then all of his hard work and investment will be for nothing.
Yet despite all of this, the worker does not stop once to offer his thanks for employment or appreciation for all that the businessman does. Instead, he tries his hardest to squeeze every last dime he can out of his pockets and into his paycheck. I must confess that such offensive conduct from one man to another strikes at my very soul.
Do things have to be this way? Is this cycle of oppression destined to spin on forevermore? I give to you a firm and definite NO. A better future and an end to this class conflict is possible, if only we have the will to do what we must. The remedy to this continuous class conflict is bold but necessary: to seize the means of production! The worker’s labor is necessary for production, but they unfairly extract a surplus wage from the entrepreneur. It is their antisocial behavior which has led us to this point. Thus, their bodies must become collectively owned and redistributed away from themselves! They must become the property of the collective will of the people and directed towards the collective good of society. The actions that they take, the work that they perform, and where they labor must be determined by the needs and wants of the community. Their bodies are a necessary component of the collective well-being, and the way in which they are used should reflect this fact. From each according to his body’s ability, to each according to his bodily needs.
Now, we are not monsters. The workers will still have full autonomy for the weekend, and perhaps Christmas and Easter. We do not aim to deprive them of all rest or leisure. However, for the remaining period of time, the usage of their bodies must be dictated by the good of society as a whole. It is only when the greed and exploitation of the worker is squelched in this way that the class conflict which has afflicted society for so long may finally come to rest.
At the advent of this glorious state of affairs, when the selfishness of the worker is no more, society will cease to be a struggle for survival and will transform into a bountiful paradise. The scarcity of goods and resources will wither away, and the needs of all will be met. Freed from his shackles, man will ascend to new heights, and he will become unrecognizable from his previous, lowly state. The boundaries previously thought unbreakable will crumble away, and all limits shall be erased from the minds of man! Onward he shall travel, and onward forevermore.
I admit that one may find my analysis or proposals to be extreme or unnecessary. The only charge I am guilty of is the courage to imagine a better tomorrow. The current social order of exploitation and greed need not continue forever. We do not lack a solution; we only lack the will to implement it. I encourage all who carry a conscious and wish to keep it clean to join me in this common struggle. A brighter future is possible, and we can bring it about.
BUSINESSMEN OF THE WORLD, UNITE!